Virtual Therapy across New York & New Jersey.
Therapy for ENM, Poly, & Modern Relationships
in NYC
Create relationships that feel authentic to you.
Therapy for ENM, Poly, & Modern Relationships in NYC
You might find yourself wondering whether there’s a “right” way to do relationships, especially when what you want doesn’t fit neatly into traditional expectations…
Maybe you’re exploring non-monogamy, navigating a polyamorous relationship, or trying to figure out what commitment and connection mean to you. You may be dealing with jealousy, attachment anxiety, mismatched desires, guilt, or challenges having difficult conversations.
Therapy for ENM, poly, and modern relationships offers a space to slow down and explore what you actually want. It can help you understand where your reactions come from while developing the skills to communicate openly, set boundaries, and build relationships that are healthy and fulfilling.
There’s more than one way to do relationships.
Whether you’re new to ethical non-monogamy, navigating an established poly relationship, or simply questioning traditional relationship expectations, your experiences can bring up complicated emotions and old patterns.
You might benefit from ENM relationship therapy if…
You’re curious about non-monogamy but aren’t sure where to begin
You’re navigating jealousy, insecurity, or attachment anxiety
You and your partner(s) have different needs around commitment, sex, intimacy, or boundaries
You’re struggling with communication or recurring conflict
You feel pressure to follow traditional relationship expectations
You’re navigating a breakup, restructuring, or changes within a polycule
You want to understand what relationship structure actually fits you
Relationships can bring up old wounds, protective patterns, and fears of rejection or abandonment. Together, we can explore what’s underneath those reactions while also building practical skills for communicating, setting boundaries, and making intentional choices.
Start Therapy for ENM, Poly, and Modern Relationships in NYC today!
What if you could go from…
Feeling overwhelmed by jealousy or insecurity → Understanding what your emotions are communicating
Struggling to talk about sex, kink, or desire → Feeling more comfortable communicating about what you want
Comparing yourself to your partners’ other relationships → Building security and fostering compersion
Questioning whether your needs are “too much” → Feeling more confident asking for what you need
Saying yes when something doesn’t feel right → Setting boundaries while staying connected
Following relationship rules that don’t actually fit you → Creating agreements that feel intentional and sustainable
Let’s replace “What’s the right way to do this?” with: “What works for us?”
What therapy for ENM, poly, and modern relationships might look like…
Therapy isn't about teaching you the “right” way to do relationships. It's about helping you understand yourself better to make more intentional choices.
We’ll start by getting to know you, your relationships, and what you’re hoping to understand or change.
Each session, you’re invited to come as you are. There’s no assumption that monogamy or polyamory are the goal or that one relationship structure works for everyone. I’ll meet you where you are and we’ll go from there…
We might explore messages you’ve received about love, sex, commitment, and what relationships are “supposed” to look like.
We can examine attachment patterns, trauma responses, jealousy, and self-protective behaviors that show up in your relationships.
We might clarify your needs, boundaries, values, and relationship goals.
We can practice communicating honestly without shutting down, over-explaining, or abandoning yourself.
Whether you're exploring ENM, navigating polyamory, dating, or simply questioning traditional relationship scripts, you don't have to figure it all out alone.
Meet Your NYC ENM & Poly-Affirming Therapist
Julie Koven, Ph.D.
Hi! I’m Julie, a licensed psychologist specializing in trauma and relationships. I work with adults navigating LGBTQ+ identities, ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, dating, intimacy, and relationships outside traditional scripts.
As a sex-positive and ENM-affirming therapist, I’m passionate about creating a space where you don’t have to explain your relationship choices or worry that your therapist will assume there is one “right” way to have a relationship.
My approach is trauma-informed, relational, and collaborative. We’ll explore what feels right for you, what gets in the way, and how you can build relationships that are intentional and aligned with your values.
Frequently Asked Questions
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ENM-affirming therapy means working with a therapist who understands that ethical non-monogamy is a healthy relationship structure and does not view it as a symptom of dysfunction or relationship problems.
We can focus on the same concerns that bring anyone to therapy, including attachment anxiety, self-worth, and difficulties with communication. I’ll also bring an understanding of the unique dynamics that can come with non-monogamous relationships, such as managing new relationship energy and jealousy, setting boundaries around sexual health practices, and navigating relationships with metamours.
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That is ok! You don’t need to know before starting therapy. It is possible that your preference for monogamy or non-monogamy may shift over time depending on your relationships and other factors in your life. I’m here to help you understand your needs, values, desires, and concerns, so you can make the choice that feels authentic and sustainable for you right now.
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No. Currently, my practice focuses on individual therapy, and I do not work with couples or polycules. In therapy, we can explore relationship dynamics, communication, boundaries, attachment, and other concerns that arise within your relationships.
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My rate for a 50-minute therapy session is $225. I dedicate a portion of my caseload to sliding scale spots to make therapy more accessible to clients. If cost is a barrier, please inquire about my sliding scale option.
I am in-network with Aetna. For other insurance plans, I am considered to be an out-of-network mental health provider.
I am happy to provide monthly superbills for you to submit to insurance. I recommend checking with your insurance about your out-of-network mental health benefits as many of my clients are able to get reimbursement from their insurance.
Why you might consider working with an out-of-network therapist:
No limitations on sessions. We can meet without worrying about insurance cutting off the length, frequency, or duration of therapy.
It helps me keep your information confidential. No need to submit your diagnosis or notes to insurance for treatment.
Therapy is personal! It should be individualized and flexible to your needs and should not be dictated by insurance.
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The first step is scheduling a free 15-20 minute consultation call by clicking HERE! During our call, we’ll talk about what you’re looking for, answer any questions you have, and then find a time to meet for weekly sessions.
You can also call/text 929-489-1160 or send me an email at juliekovenphd@gmail.com
Need something else?
Additional Therapy Services
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LGBTQ+ AFFIRMING THERAPY
Looking for a therapist who gets queerness without making it “the issue”? Together, we can explore sexual and/or gender identity, navigate the unique challenges of being queer in a heteronormative society, and build confidence in living authentically.
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THERAPY FOR SEXUAL TRAUMA
Whether you’ve experienced sexual trauma in childhood or recent years, you might notice the impact on your relationships, in your body, or how you feel about yourself. Together, we’ll work to build safety, make meaning of your experiences, and reconnect with healthy supports.
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THERAPY FOR ANXIETY
Constantly overthinking? Stuck in patterns of people pleasing, conflict avoidance, or self-criticism? In therapy, we’ll explore the “why” and bolster skills to manage the negative thoughts and uncomfortable sensations that come with anxiety.
No default scripts.
Not trauma-driven choices.
Something intentional.
Start your therapy journey today.
Contact information:
Email juliekovenphd@gmail.com
Call or text 929.489.1160
healing is possible. learn to trust yourself again.
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healing is possible. learn to trust yourself again. —